However, I am considering to apply for the next year's term. My Turkish lecturer goes to Turkey today, and will be back after a week or so. Then I will have plenty of time to think and discuss more about my higher educational route, esp after final exam is over.
The things that hit my head hard - before I should actually choose where to study - are:
1. Whether I should choose another course instead of what I'm currently studying in my major degree. History sounds great, political science too. I wish to study something that I could be very good in, and that which has the greatest impact I could ever give, for this ummah. Which one, ah? Masih boleh difikirkan dan di-figure out insyaAllah.
2. Whether I should pursue life as an academician. Taking MA, then Ph.D, and later on becoming a lecturer sounds like a very straight-forward, lame old road. And that is so me :) Nothing wrong with it at all anyway, but I really need to think whether being an academician in such and such field, could give a great impact for the ummah. I mean, sometimes choosing this route makes you so academics that you feel so really good about it but others can't understand you, nor can they connect to your thinking. Sometimes there are just too many theories. You write this and that articles, but they do not benefit others except those of the same field and specialization.
I'm not sure. Right now there's just too many uncertainty. I might go for a more drastic plan and that is to not pursue with MA at all and suddenly choose a very different career route?
Allahu musta'an,
and in the midst of all these chaotic thoughts, I do believe in one thing:
(ومن يتق الله يجعل له مخرحا) Get taqwa first, other things will follow.
I pray that all of us will get clearer vision of what we wish to do in this short life, and that we may always make the best decisions for this ummah, under His guidance. Ameen.
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